Vacation.... again

I’m not the kind of person who feels home whenever I’m home. I don’t know if that is weird but that’s what happened to me since I was 18. Whenever I come back home for semester leave or a few days holiday, I’ll be looking forward to go back to my hostel, or now, my room. Everybody else will be saying like how they don’t want to leave their hometown their house, their room and all. so far I have only met 1 person who feels the same way I do.

Moving on, my last vacation was like 2 years ago. May be there are some people who can live without vacation but for me at my kind of situation, i know i seriously need a break simply from everyone and everything. so, back then, I went on this cheap and affordable package at beach side for 3 days 2 nights. I don’t have soo much problems or stress or anything bothering my mind or my heart all the time back then. I just simply went with my friend.

So what happened was, I’m not the kind of person who do what my friend do and my friend is not the kind of person who do what I do. we do not enjoy the same thing. NOT AT ALL i do feel pity for her. i love to sit by the beach doing nothing just relaxing looking at people or the cloud or the sun or the night sky full of stars and anything similar, having my own thoughts.... obviously my friend not. so that was the last. we did plan a few places to visit next but then nothing happened. just nothing. at least not for me.

she do enjoy her life. she has friends who obviously enjoy the same thing. she does go on vacation a few times a year. hang out every now and then. well, as for me, it's just opposite. i had lots of friend back then, during UM life. but what happened after studies? everybody went back to their hometown and some get married. we do keep in touch but nothing really like hang out or something. Planning to meet or so called reunion is already a big deal and headache so please don't talk about planning a vacation with them. even if we do, some of us still haven't find a job, financially problems and we do'n own any vehicle, transportation prob.

Once my friend offered a 'pity invitation' to join her for a vacation. I just can't imagine sitting around like a weirdo in her group of friends. i hate feeling lost or not able to join the conversation. Macam orang bodoh. i can't get along with them at all. there might be some situation where they feel awkward, or just pity or being nice because obviously and simply we do not do the same things or enjoy the same things. who knows what they'll be thinking in their head or saying in their heart. they might even talk about me afterwards and laugh. how if i become the spoiler in their group. i just have heard enough and watched enough about them i just do not want to be in that kind of situation. that would be the worst!!!

Of course i can go vacation with my family. but what happened? you won't be the decision maker. just have to follow what have been decided and things like unplanned or unexpected won't happen. or maybe happened but everything taken care of. it's not the kind of thing i'm looking for in a vacation.

To me, when u go for a vacation, u hv to be one of the contributor and there should be some discussion involving you going on and things may go a little bit out of hand but that was the fun after all. like hanging around without age differences, talking whatever crap you want because someone called friend will respond to that other than laughing at you. doing things together and everybody enjoy the same thing. it's totally different between family and friend.

but hey, don't get me wrong. i do enjoy hanging out with my girls and my boys as much as i love hanging out with friends. It's just that in some situation some things won't be the same.

sooo... any travel agency wants to hire me??? i am very much open to the kind of job that have to send me out somewhere or anywhere almost all the time. I'M ON  :-)