another phase in my life

Suddenly, this morning i realize that i am at a weird phase in my life.

everyone is thinking about my future except me. well, of course, the type of future they are thinking is different from mine. i'm still drafting my future. Often survey n looking around what type of job available at the market and the salary, what it takes for me to be in a higher n better position in future. i thought i'm on the right track until i realize that i'm an indianmuslim. the very classic n traditional one. dreaming of working n being in a high position is a crime in my community, IF YOU ARE NOT MARRIED YET! i'm 22. i thought i'm still very young. i thought i have a lot more to learn and a lot more to achieve. but unfortunately, i'm not. it seems like it's time for me to get ready for marriage.

have you ever seen a very successful married Malay or Chinese women. of course yes! have seen one in indiamuslim? i don't think soooo. think again. if u are thinking of someone, that person must be mix. To be honest, my sister is the very first working women in my whole family. she is the first degree holder too. i think i'm the forth after a doctor and my brother. sometimes i think a very comfortable life makes some people stupid.

I'm tired of all the stupid questions and their so called realistic and relevant advises and and suggestions. i'm too tired. the only place i feel home and comfortable now is my hostel room. the person that i like to talk is only my friends. i don't feel like attending any kind of functions. so i decided just to spend all my time either with my friends talking crap or at my room doing nothing at all. at least, there won't be any awkward and uncomfortable moment that spoil my whole day. i hate to give fake smiles.