Monday, June 17, 2013

June 2013

wow! Tak sangka saya berjaya mengharungi hampir sparuh tahun 2013. a few months back, i was wondering how i'm going to face this year. everything was not right from the first hour, first minute and first second of the year. i fight alone for something i really want and i failed. and then i found something else to work on and to concentrate on. now, i know i'm failing but i guess i'm not giving up yet. And surprisingly, something new came up, which requires me to fight alone as well. Something new keeps on coming at least, every week.

all the decisions that i made was not right from the beginning. even the good news gives a bad impact. since i'm scared,  i decided to not make any long term decision yet. to not involve or commit. well, now i'm not sure whether thats a good decision or not.

I need more positive energy than ever. I'm using up all my patience and all my strength that now i'm afraid that i might end up used all of them and nothin left anymore, i need someone that would give me the right word for my wrongs. Not laugh n telling around bout it. I need more positive words, not sarcastic word, more happy moments, not fake moments. All in all, i need my friends.

after all those thing,i'm glad and thankful that i'm still smiling and living my life, finding positive thing around me and being happy for others. I don't know if this is only a process of growing up, making someone mature or strong, or just a trial before starting to face the real cruel world. Whatever it is, i'm just hoping for things to get better in time.

Hello second half of the year, lets rock n roll!

Friday, June 7, 2013

nothing to do

i was sitting on my table doing nothing this morning. thats super surprising. people are busy with their 'permanent staff' thing and i was doing nothing. nothing at all. staring at my inbox. hoping for someone to send any ridiculous e-mail and driving me crazy.


so, saya tinggal 44 hari lgi keje kat company ni. lps tu contract sy akan habis. saya x rsa mereka akan renew contract or offer sy keje kt syarikat tu. klu diorng offer pon saya xnk. keje sana mcm x sesuai dgn saya. so sy kene menganggur blk skrng ni pon dh mulakan job hunt.

i miss my friends all the time. since 2008, my life is all about my friends. Alhamdulillah, saya selalu dpt kawan yg elok2, yg x mess up dgn hidup sy, yang x gado2 and yg x byk bermasalah. never had a rough relationship with any of them. ntah mana silapnya, kebetulan kawan sy sume yg ddk jauh2. dh hbs blaja sume dh blk kampung halaman masing2. cari rezeki di sana. yang tinggal kt KL pon, punyalah payah nk jumpa. klu plan nk jumpa pon masa tulah byk sgt halangan. balik kampung or akan ada pape kenduri yg kene attend. skrng, klu tgk fb orng lain post gamba mereka beramai2, mesti rsa mcm... "untunglaa". mungkin sy patut smbng blaja. tapi bkn di UM. di universiti yg jauh sikit. ddk kt hostel. cari kawan baru plak.

kadang2 sy x fhm kenapa ada laki yg akn kata diorng kehilangan kebebasan, ketenangan n mcm2 lgi lps kawen. u have no idea what a woman lose once she get married to you idiots!

dan saya xnk kawen lagi....