Tuesday, May 13, 2014

last words...

Not soo long ago, saya nmpk status orng yg meyatakan salah sorng kenalan sy dh xd. tu salah satu berita yg sgt mengejutkan. sebab the last word that i told the person was not something nice. in fact, i hurt the person's feeling on purpose, so that the person will just shut it. at that time, i didn't have any regrets or feeling sorry or any guilt feeling for hurting the person. i just stopped for a while and start to think. i might feel that the person deserve to hear whatever i told but that should't be the last word ever. what am i going to do now? how should i apologize? i wasn't in any state of attending funeral. or should i just sit by the person's grave and regret?

then it turns out to be different person with same name. Well, the first hing i did was contact the person, just to really make sure that the person is alive. feel relieved. i didn't apologize but i said nice things before end the phone call. weird feelings...

in my daily life, i do leave a conversation in anger. and there are people i left feeling guilty for whatever they do. i even say things. do i really want to do that anymore? what if that was the last word i ever said to a person? would i be able to spend my life in regrets??? i'm not someone who forget things easily and i am already regretting things.

but would i be able to just swallow all kind of heart aches? just be silent and not expressing it? not making people realize what they did to me was wrong? would i be just keep thing at the deepest place in my heart? would it promise a happy or at least a better life when i'm not happy deep inside? will shedding tears in silence making thing ok?

would i?

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